My daughter had her birthday last week. We had a sleepover party for her over the weekend - got a great deal on a suite at a local resort. They have a fantastic pool area with two water slides, zero entry with a beach front, and a beach volleyball court. The room had a big screen TV and plenty of space for the 13(!) girls who attended to spread out. They swam most of the day Saturday, watched scary movies that night, then back to the pool until two on Sunday. My wife herded the cats while I provided logistical support.

I had the chance to closely observe 14 adolescents for almost two days and immediately noticed the prevalence of cell phone use. This is not a rant about cell phones, however. I think the cell phones are merely a symptom of a human behavior that affects all of us to one degree or another: an inability to be in the now. Not now only in relation to <i>when</i> you are, but also in the spatial aspect where you are. You can't be in the now when you are trying to be other places too.

So here are these girls at a huge pool on a beautiful day with a large group of friends and at any one time a large portion of them are texting or talking on their phones. Some girls seemed unable to go more than a few minutes "disconnected", while others would check in from time to time. A few even isolated themselves from the group and spent the majority of their time on their phones. So instead being here, these girls were somewhere else. This behavior is probably the norm no matter where they happen to be. If they had been somewhere else, they probably would have been texting with the girls at the party.

And it's not just these girls. How often do we all do it? Eat without paying attention to the food, let our thoughts drift during a conversation, read email while talking on the phone.... It's probably no exaggeration to say that most of us are mentally someplace else other than were we are. There's a Zen proverb: "When walking, walk. When eating, eat."

The more power we are able to exert of over what we focus on, the more free we are to experience the now. In Zen they call this being mindful: being more conscious of life as it happens.

As with anything, learning to do this takes practice. Pick simple, repetitive activities like walking up stairs, taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and make a concentrated effort to clear your mind of distractions. You can even repeat to yourself what you are doing; I'm walking up the stairs, I'm brushing my teeth, I'm eating my food.... Do one thing at a time pay attention while you are doing it. Don't read email while on the phone, don't eat and watch television.

Spend five to ten minutes each day doing nothing. Return to here and now. Breath deep, feel the air flowing in and out of your lungs, close your eyes and listen, tilt your head up, feel the sun on your face. Experience.